And the tongue is like a fire. It is a whole world of evil among the parts of our bodies. The tongue spreads its evil through the whole body. The tongue is set on fire by hell, and it starts a fire that influences all of life (James 3:6 NCV).

A grand feast of marinated steaks and jumbo shrimp was winding down, and a group of friends was sitting on the back patio of a Capitol Hill home, sipping red wine. Suddenly, a hooded man slid in through an open gate and put the barrel of a handgun to the head of a 14-year-old guest.

"Give me your money, or I'll start shooting," he demanded, according to D.C. police and witness accounts.

The five other guests, including the girls' parents, froze -- and then one spoke.

"We were just finishing dinner," Cristina "Cha Cha" Rowan, 43, blurted out. "Why don't you have a glass of wine with us?"

The intruder took a sip of their Chateau Malescot St-Exupéry and said, "Damn, that's good wine."

The girl's father, Michael Rabdau, 51, who described the harrowing evening in an interview, told the intruder, described as being in his 20s, to take the whole glass. Rowan offered him the bottle. The would-be robber, his hood now down, took another sip and had a bite of Camembert cheese that was on the table.

Then he tucked the gun into the pocket of his nylon sweatpants.
"I think I may have come to the wrong house," he said, looking around the patio of the home in the 1300 block of Constitution Avenue NE.

"I'm sorry," he told the group. "Can I get a hug?"

Rowan, who lives in Falls Church and works part time at her children's school, stood up and wrapped her arms around him.

Then it was Rabdau's turn. Then his wife's. The other two guests complied.

"That's really good wine," the man said, taking another sip. He had a final request: "Can we have a group hug?"

The five adults surrounded him, arms out. (Washington Post, July 13, 2007)

When we think of the destructive power of the tongue, we usually tend to imagine such things as curses, slanders and verbal abuses. These are most definitely examples of the destructive power of the tongue. But what we don’t usually associate the poison of the tongue with are “crafty speeches” designed to manipulate and deceive. Such crafty speech can be very “flattering.” Compliments and flattery can fly off of the tongue onto its target in order to do evil by an altogether different means.

The above story illustrates my point. A robber crashes a party and points a gun to a fourteen-year-old girl’s head and threatens to shoot.

The family and guests are shocked. They offer the would-be robber some wine and cheese. He likes it and then asks in return for some hugs. Each person hugs him and then the robber wants more – he now wants a group hug.

With all that hugging, one would think that someone would grab his gun or pin the man down to the ground and call the police. But such is not the case. He is let go and escapes with his palettes flavored with expensive wine and cheese.

What defused this potential disaster? Wine, cheese and hugs.

As you read this story, what went on in your mind? Did you not have some sympathy for this robber? All he needed was for someone to talk nice to him and give him hugs in the process. Pretty soon we begin to think that’s the way we should fight our wars oversea. If we can just talk to the enemy, offer the enemy some hugs and an understanding heart, we can get our enemies to turn the other way and leave us alone.

And so after a few examples of these kinds of things occurring, we blindly approach evil with our guards down and walk right into a death trap.

We read in Proverbs 7:21 concerning the ploy of the adulterous woman: “By her clever words she made him give in. By her pleasing words, she led him into wrong doing.”

The man’s guard went down. His mental alertness got turned off. The power of the tongue used in a clever and pleasing manner did the same damage that an abusive tongue would also do. It brought down another victim.

How about this one? “A person who hates you may fool you with his words. But in his mind he is planning evil. His words are kind, but don’t believe him. He mind is full of evil thoughts. He hides his hate with lies, but his evil will be plain to everyone” (Prov. 26:24-26).

Watch out for flattery. If you are use to hearing abusive language, you will be more prone to accept flattery since it presents itself as the opposite of what you have been use too. Nevertheless, your destruction is still its goal.

Let me show you one more: “Everyone who gives false praise to his neighbor is setting a trap for him” (Prov. 29:5). In other words, watch out, you are about to be asked to do something, which very well may compromise your beliefs or better judgment.

My point: The tongue that is said to get its fire from hell can lash out in a fury of verbal expletives, or it can be very cunning and filled with flattery. The end is always the same: Destruction of the person. Be careful and stay alert to the power of the tongue, as you hear things and especially as it moves around in your mouth.

As a side note: Have you ever notice that within the church, the bible does not encourage “free speech?” God does not encourage free speech within His church. Why?

For one thing, only certain ones are able to speak (cf. 1 Tim. 1:3; 2:11-12; 3:1-2; James 3:1). Next, those who tried to exercise their “free speech” rights were excommunicated (1 Tim. 2:20), and cursed (Gal. 1:8-9).

Why did God put such limitations within His church? Because no one is strong enough on his own to tame (or control) his tongue (James 3:8). Since it is also full of deadly poison and destructive forces (3:8), to give it the freedom to operate freely without restraints, is to give it the power to defile the whole body (3:6). Furthermore, the tongue used outside of the will of God gets its authority and power from hell itself (3:6). Jesus declared that the church would overcome the gates of hell (Matt. 16:18), therefore hell itself should never operate freely or get a foothold within the church as a means to poison the flock.

Finally, the tongue simply reveals the condition of a person’s heart. Jesus said in Matthew 15:18-20: “But whatever comes from the mouth has come out of the heart. These things make the man unclean inside. For out of the heart come bad thoughts, killing other people, sex sins of a married person, sex sins of a person not married, stealing, lying, speaking against God. These are the things that make the man unclean inside.”

It is a person’s heart that’s full of evil and the tongue is merely the tool, which distributes the evil. Therefore, to allow the tongue to go uncheck is to give the evil within a person’s heart the green light to spray others with sinful contaminants.

Look what free speech has done to this nation. It is a noble idea, but it won’t work in the long run. Why? Because with free speech comes responsibility. And we’re told that no one is responsible enough to tame his own tongue. This is why God has put within His church check and balances.

But we are not left to our own peril. For God has given to His people His Spirit who lives within us and wants us for Himself alone (James 4:5). With the help of God’s Spirit and God’s grace that He freely gives to those who are humble (James 4:6), we can tame the tongue.

Free speech in the church is the ability to praise God and encourage others; it is not the ability to say whatever one wants.

By the way, if the robber in the above story “went to the wrong house,” what would he consider a “right one?”